Tag Archives: #kidlulz

Is there something wrong with my son?

My four year old son is interesting to say the least.

With tongue in cheek, I have to ask.  Is he normal?

I know a lot of kids of the same age, but my son’s certainly different.

In a country where you see a large representation of the most flash cars on earth, he’s most interested in seeing a VW (“Herbie car”), or a mini (“Mr Bean’s car”).

While most of his friends back home ran around bare footed, we have to battle with him to take off his shiny “work boots”.

With such a huge variety of kids clothes bearing the latest cartoon movie motifs, he wants nothing but plain coloured apparel.

And in regard to simply wearing clothes in general, we know more than a few kids who don’t like getting dressed at all. Yet Myles selects his own clothes early each morning, and quite often wants to wear a neck tie as well – even if it’s one he’s made himself from drawing on a piece of cut-out paper.

I guess the conclusion is simple. He’s definitely not normal. He’s hilarious and fantastic.

Can I point?

We were out having a picnic with four year old Myles when he looked up at the sky and spotted a plane.  Wanting to alert the others, he asked if he could point to it. We responded, of course you can point.

The others couldn’t understand why he had asked for permission. That was, until he figured it out in his head and clarified, “So I can point, just NOT at fat people.”

Technology can be misleading

While I’m in Dubai and my family are in Tasmania my four year old son and I have been using Skype to communicate with each other – until their visas are sorted and they can come and join me.

Last night, while chatting away with them, my brother Corey was online also, so I started a three way conference between me in Dubai, my son in Tasmania, and my brother in Brisbane.  We were only able to talk, the video didn’t work with three people.

It was interesting right at the start when my brother asked Myles how he was going.  Myles paused a little, then asked, “Corey, are you in Dubai?”

The best things in life are free

I went shopping today and saw loads of cheesey souvenirs, which reminded me of the time I returned from the job interviews and tests in Dubai. 

As I was away from family for a number  of days, I bought a few gifts for everyone. I especially wanted to get something that Myles would enjoy, so I made a special effort getting things I knew he’d enjoy. There were authentic Emirates planes and airport set, there was a miniture Burj Al Arab, a soft fluffy camel, and other things. 

Each of them he liked, but put them down soon after.  BUT, when I pulled out the tiny jam bottles I flogged from the hotel, he was in awe!  He absolutely loved those, and that’s all he wanted to eat for a little while.

Goes to show, you really don’t need to buy expensive gifts. Although I don’t think hotel supplies are always going to cut it.

Straight to the point

Today the lady from across the road dropped in to say goodbye to Myles, as they were leaving for Tasmania this morning – before joining me in Dubai in four weeks or so.

Myles, as usual, was straight to the point.  When she said goodbye to him, he almost immediately changed the subject when he asked why her son speeds on his motorcycle.  She said she didn’t know, but she’d mention it to him.  I thought this would be the end, but oh no, Myles just had to mention at that point in time that he was going to become a police officer. I think it could have been deemed a warning shot from the four year old.

Baptism under fire

Today my two boys were baptised at Wavell Heights Uniting Church.

Myles has not had much exposure to religion, except for perhaps some disparaging comments from me from time to time – which made me quite anxious if there’d be any embarrassing moments.

A fortnight ago Myles and I visited the reverend in her office to organise things. Myles was quick to grab a book from her bookshelf and ask questions.  The reverend answered his questions well. She’s clearly worked with kids before.  But perhaps something she wasn’t expecting was Myles matter-of-factly saying he doesn’t know anything about the Jesus guy she mentioned.  She had a perfect answer, saying that’s what getting baptised is all about.

Today was the day of the service, and I’m glad to report it went well. We were off to an interesting start when we gave him some change to donate to the offering when the bowl went around. But that would take too long, so as we walked into the church he ran straight up to the minister and tried to give it to her.

Among his more interesting questions were why Jesus wore sandles all the time, and if he could use his Baptism candle to hunt for cane toads.

He’s a big fan of the Blues Brother’s movie, which has a scene in a church complete with an African-American choir and James Brown as the evangelical minister. I’m glad Myles didn’t appear disappointed like I feared.  During a hymn or two though, his foot started tapping like he was about to embark on a full dance number.  But we managed to distract him.  I nearly couldn’t hold back the laughter when my brother – the godfather for the day – started making the sound of The Crazy Frog at the time.  (Very worryingly, Myles has started copying the antics of the said frog which is essentially him naked, jumping forwards pretending to ride an invisibly motorbike while singing the annoying song.  As I said, very worrying.  It’s quite funny also, but we try not to encourage him.)

It seems the Baptism has certainly worked.  Myles received a present of Thomas the Tank Engine flash cards from one of friends.  Tonight he read them to us, and instead of citing the individual words that appeared ont he cards, he said they were God stories. Each separate card he’d pull out of the pack, and recite the alleged God story, which all made mention of the spirit.  Even that the spirit was dead.  No matter what the stories were, he recited each with a sort of quiet yet stoic voice.  Perhaps this is the start of a career quite different to the police car/train driver, or the paleontologist.

Who’s up for some Queensland sport?

The same night we went over to our friends who have kids around the age of my eldest, the kids wanted to use a torch to try and find geckoes.  Well, all the girls did, my son didn’t think that sounded very exciting at all.

To try to include him, I suggested they could use the torch to find cane toads as well.  My four year old’s eyes lit up, he definitely preferred this option.  But curiously he raced away back downstairs to where the toys were.  He returned up the stairs triumphantly raising a golf club in one hand, and said to the girls, “Yeah, you take the torch; I’ve got the golf club”.

Maybe I’m not always the best influence on him.

Who’s your Daddy

We had dinner with some friends that have children similar ages to my eldest. It was a great night cause the kids could have a ball wearing each other out.  Interestingly though they were having so much fun that only the two year old girl slowed down.

Even on the drive home my four year old was still excited.

Finally after he had a drink I laid down the law and said he had to go to sleep. He became a bit puzzled, and said that he didn’t want to so why am I asking him to do that. 

Mistakenly I said because I’m the Dad, and I say so.

He lowered his shaking head then defeatingly said, “I wish I could be the father first”.

J-E-E-P spells poxy

We joke with a friend of ours who has a Jeep, that his car is poxy. It’s come from my father in law who in his vast 4WD experience has come to the conclusion that American products just don’t measure up.

My four year old son’s very interested in cars, and has been paying attention to our ribbing of Jeeps. It’s a regular gag when our mate comes over that my son asks to see the “poxy car”.

We thought this was the extent of it, but we were following a Jeep – quite different to our mates – and the boy said we were following a Poxy.  We asked why he said that.  He pointed at the Jeep logo and said, “See – it says Poxy!”

Gold.

What a mature audience

Despite his protests, at 8:30pm I was marching my four year old out of the television room to have a bath when the television ratings warning came on for the impending movie.

Trying to leverage this he pleaded with me, “Ohhh, but I love ‘Low Level Course Language'”.