Tag Archives: #kidlulz

Car based trivia

My four year old was driving with me on an errand when he spotted a taxi driving along beside us. He proudly explained and demonstrated how you get a taxi driver’s attention by waving your hand.

I then asked, and what do cricket umpires do with their arms when the batsment hits the ball into the fence.  He triumphantly did the boundary motions – waving his arm from left to right, and back.

He then had another cricket question for me, “What do you do at the cricket when the police take away your  beach ball?” He got it in one, “BOOOOOO!”

We were impressed again in a later trip that same day.  Despite the roundabout being 100 metres in front of us, he was able to spot an Audi just like the matchbox car I bought for him the night before. Of course it wasn’t exactly the same.  He was able to tell us it was a different colour, and it was bigger.

Arrest my wife

On Sunday I was outside on the couch reading the weekend paper while my four year old rode his car around the nearby table.  I started a game where I was a police officer and as he approached me I would ask to check his license. Then I’d give him a bit of a warning before letting him go on his way. He continued to do this happily a few more times.

Then after a little while of this, he said back to me that I need to check his wife’s license when she drives by, and that I should probably take her into custody cause she’s very mean. Taken a little back, I said sure .. but how will I know who his wife is when I see her.

His response was gold.  With total innocence he responded, “she looks like a dog”.

And isn’t it ironic

My four year old has had a long interest in music.  He loves to watch music, listen to music, and he’s now at a stage where he makes up his own songs.  His songs are usually about whatever’s on his mind at the time, but they’re always sung at full volume.

He’s written ditties about trains and police cars.  But his more recent songs have been more interesting.  For instance, his last song didn’t have many words, but at the top of his lungs he was singing the same words over and over: “Peace and quiet”.

Oh, the irony!  And not mistaken irony such as that Alanis Morissette song.

A good question

Last night at the dinner table, my four year old noticed that I lost some skin from one elbow from playing touch footy earlier in the week.

Curious, he asked what had happened, so I told him.

He absorbed my response, then responded even more curiously, “Are you still a man?!”

Everyone at the table broke into fits of laughter.  And yet again, I was speechless.

Make a wish

On the weekend my four year old was tasked with cleaning his room.

As always, he tried everything possible to get out of it, and became distracted quite a few times.

The more he continued to procrastinate, the more my wife and I intensified our directions.

It got to the point where he wasn’t allowed to leave his room, or play with ANYTHING!

A few moments later I walked past to see how he was progressing. I was surprised to see him standing in the middle of his room with his eyes half closed talking to himself.

I just had to ask what he was doing.

He responded, “I’m wishing”.  I just had to then follow-up, “What are you wishing for?”.

“I’m wishing that my room was clean”.

If only things were so simple.

Barack who?

My three year old son was interested in the weekend newspaper I was reading this afternoon.  He usually focuses on the cartoons which means I have the difficult task of describing what’s happening, who the people are, and why it could be considered funny by people. Regardless my obvious failing at this, he kindly laughs anyway.

But today there were a few stories on the US election, and specifically Barack Obama. The three year old was quite interested.  He asked who was in the picture, so I told him it’s Barack Obama and as my boy is a big fan of our prime minister – heaven knows why – I mentioned that Barack Obama is trying to get the same job that Kevin Rudd has – but in America.  My boy giggled, and said “bummer”. 

Puerile, but quite funny at the time.