Dreamland – 04 June 2010

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Last weekend Myles and I went to Dreamland Aqua Park which is a waterpark in Umm Al Quwain – another emirate within the UAE. The trip from Dubai is around an hour, but the time went pretty quick as we saw lots of interesting or new things.

In fact Myles counted the interesting things on the way to the water park:

  1. Flamingos in Ras Al Khor sanctuary
  2. Very different traffic lights in Ajman – they had little clocks counted how many seconds the lights were remaining on Red or Green (they were also laid out horizontally instead of vertically)
  3. Six “tornadoes” (whirly winds)
  4. No pictures of HH Sheikh Mohammed (outside of Dubai it makes sense)
  5. A picture of a man that looked like Fazza (Dubai’s Royal Prince) but wasn’t (he was a different Ajman’s Royal Prince)
  6. Sharks in the water (sticks in the water)
  7. A big old abandoned plane used as an advertisement

Emirates employees get a generous discount at the park, but there was an even more generous coupon in the entertainer book which encouraged us to visit this particular water park over the other three.  We’ve been to Wild Wadi a couple times, and Elle and the boys had been to the a bit run down Wonderland.  The only one we now haven’t visited is Aquaventure which is in Atlantis – The Palm, so possibly the most well-known.

In a word, Dreamland was awesome. Myles had to be convinced that it was different to Dreamworld back on the Gold Coast in Australia. There are things to appeal to all ages. There is a good maze to have a relaxing float with babies, but we didn’t take Lewis on this occasion.  There are plenty of other rides for larger kids, and the obligatory number of scarier rides still for the adult-aged kids. There was also a bar or two if you wish for a break to whet your whistle.

I had to give Myles an impromptu Arabic lesson, more of a reminder, when I had to clarify that “yulla” is Arabic for hurry, or let’s go. Myles originally thought all the guys were unhappy because they wanted to go on the yellow slide, not because they were extremely impatient.

The only downside of the day, was the heat. We made the mistake of going barefoot from the change rooms and lockers. So throughout the day we had to run between the slides, and deviate our course to take in a bit of grass now and again til our scorched feet had reduced to a normal temperature.  Well, my feet at least. I put Myles on my shoulders most of the times.

One of the other downsides was the amount of body hair on display. I’m on the paranoid side of having body hair, and in the past have generally shaved down for triathlon events. But it was nothing, compared to the spectacle you’ll see at any water park in this region. It was interesting that you’d see what you thought was the hairiest guy at the park. But the guy would always be outdone by the new hairiest guy. You never really find the winner, you just get sick of noticing. Or you’ll spot the hairiest guy in the world, and there’s instantly no where else to go.

Myles enjoyed all of the rides he was allowed on.  There was still a few things he was not tall enough for. But we’ll certainly be back.

The trip also had second hidden agenda for the way home. Next to Dreamland is a place well-known to all expats, particularly from the West. It’s called Barracuda Beach Resort, but it’s really only famous for one thing, cheap alcohol.  But just as impressive, is the huge variety of stock they carry.  The first time I visited, I was like a kid in a candy store.  They have a fantastic Australian wine collection, with possibly more wines than a standard Australian bottle shop. And they have all the most popular Australian beers at fantastic prices. The XXXX cartons were AED 90, which equates to less than AUD $30 – must cheaper than in Australia! I’m sure anyone outside of Queensland would want to insert joke here about cat urine, but I’ll move on.

The trip home takes you through the emirate of Sharjah – which is a strictly dry emirate. So there’s always a bit of uncertainty whether we’re breaking the law or not. But the consensus is providing its within personal consumption levels, and you are licensed to drink within your own emirate, it should be fine.

We spent around 5-6 hours at Dreamland, but you could easily spend even more time.  Myles was so active the complete time we were there he was asleep within minutes of leaving Barracuda.  It was a fantastic day, and we’ll certainly be back again. Although Wild Wadi is less than 10 minutes from our house and Dreamland is at least an hour away, it has a larger layout, caters for adults a little better and is quite a bit cheaper.

The lucrative Australian accent

The majority of web advertisements are boring. But every now and again one captures my interest – usually for the wrong reasons.

This happened just now, when I was enlightened about a programme to learn how to speak with an Australian accent to help with job prospects. Being an Australian myself, perhaps I could pick it up quicker than the 15 minutes per day they suggest it requires.

Don’t let your accent hold you back, get the job, salary and the recognition that you deserve.

It’s interesting, I thought the Australian accent could have the same issues.

http://www.speakmoreclearly.com/australianaccent?gclid=CMKeocullqICFQceZwodYGeNFg

I’m a Specialist Plant

As part of our staff meeting we had a member of our Learning & Development department come along and take us through a behavioural assessment. The behaviour test was based on Belbin Team inventory, and it shows insights into what your preferred roles and least preferred roles are.

I have always been a cynic of these tests. They ask a few general questions which you could easily answer any different way. And then they provide a result which somehow magically describes all parts of your being. I’m smarter than that. I cannot be pidgeon-holed into a category, these tests miss so many considerations.

But the problem is, each time I do these tests they come back with the same result. The same pretty accurate result. I always come out of them thinking they have captured me pretty well.

The Belbin test identifies 10 Team Roles, which you are classified to – according to the statements that you relate most to.

The test found that I had two Team Roles I favour. One was the Plant role. Its typical profile is creative, unorthodox, serious minded, individualistic. It has some positive contributions of Genius, imaginative, intellectual, knowledgeable. They’re good at solving problems and generating ideas. However, they’re inclined to ignore practical details or protocol. A preference to break the rules came through in another test I did at the time of my Emirates interview – which initially concerned the organisational psychologist, but then he believed it could actually be a positive contribution at times. Another “allowable weakness” is they may be too pre-occupied to communicate effectively.

My other preferred team role was the Specialist. They’re typically Single-minded, self-starting, dedicated to their own field. An alleged positive is they provide knowledge and skills in rare supply. But their issue is they may only contribute on a narrow front, and can dwell on technicalities.

The test also provides insight into what your least favoured role is. My least favoured – unfortunately – the Implementer. These are conservative, disciplined, reliable, efficient and predictable. It’s a concern if I look at the antonyms of these words, as describing myself. Positives of this role are organising ability, practical common sense, hard working, self-disciplined. They turn ideas into practical actions. I guess it shows a disconnect with having a profile allegedly capable of Planting ideas.

In other behavioural tests I’ve done, this result was there also. I do see it as a weakness at times, but feel I use some good tools to help manage this. So while I may answer in ways that show I think I have better ideas than being practical, I feel I am usually on top of the tasks I must implement. But perhaps I think other people are better positioned to do it. Or more of a concern, maybe I think it’s somebody else’s job. I have ideas, but can’t bring myself to do the actual work to get them in.

When I first saw this trait coming in these tests, I promised to fix it. But it’s still coming up again four years later. Maybe it’s the same as being an alcoholic. Before you can resolve the problem, you first must admit you have a problem.

The internet is making us dumb

I’ve heard people claiming that with the internet we’re growing dumb by having such a plethora of information at our finger tips. I never bought much into the argument, but maybe it does have some merit, particularly when the information that is closest to our finger tips is wrong.

I’m delivering a presentation today to the CPI software congress. Yesterday I showed a colleague the content, and mentioned the segways I had in mind – referring to the way I would try to transition the content through different slides. He looked at me puzzled, and asked what a two wheel device for getting around the airport had to do with anything. Despite being British, he was only slightly joking. He had not heard the word Segway used in its proper context, only from a product perspective – with particular highlights such as when George W. Bush fell off one.

I suggested he look up the proper meaning. We didn’t have a dictionary at hand, so Google had to do. I was gob-smacked with what came back.

Of a dozen or so references Google sent to his Blackberry; and particularly when you use the dictionary function of define: segway, there was no mention of it actually being a word. Nope. A segway according to the leading definitions on the web is a:

A large update: I’ve traced the etymology of the term, and embarassingly found using the word segway in the context above comes from the Trade Marked product name – Segway.

The internet is not making us dumb, I was dumb to start with. The internet can only help.

An even bigger, and more important update:
Thanks to Tim, I’ve learned the word in question is segue. Which is a real, non-trademarkable word.

The Internet may not change the fact we are dumb, but it does have the benefit of exchange with smarter people.
🙂

Proving I’m human

I have recently subscribed to Twitter – @rbrink77.

I believe I’ve embraced web 2.0 and social networking for a few years now, but Twitter has never appealed to me. But I should try before I refuse to buy.

I guess not having a Blackberry or sophisticated mobile phone puts me at a slight disadvantage. In fact, my mobile could not be less sophisticated. It has no Bluetooth, and I can’t even change the ring tone. Despite this it serves me extremely well, through surviving my 20 month old’s battering and attempts to eat it.

I have noticed some Twitter feeds use Captcha to ensure the subscription is coming from a human. One of the tweets I subscribed to took this to an interesting level, with its Captcha. I’ve uploaded the screen shot below. If you can’t make out the images, the two words are “bootee secretary”.

Actual Captcha image

A frog walks into a bar

He approaches the teller. He can see from her nametag that her name is Patricia Whack.

“Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.”

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. He says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, “Sure. I have  this,” and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty  explains that she’ll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.”

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. “I mean, what in the world is this?”

The bank manager looks back at her and says…

“It’s a  knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”

Dubai 2020 Olympics feasible?

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There have been many murmerings and insinuations previously, but in the last week it was confirmed at the highest level Dubai has an interest in staging the Olympic Games. Both HH Sheikh Mohammed Bin Rashid Al Maktoum, and his wife Princess Haya discussed the point at this year’s SportAccord.

I assume the bid if for the Summer games. While Ski Dubai is the world’s largest indoor snow park and field, it probably still isn’t enough to consider the Winter games. 😉

At this point in time consultants are just going to evaluate the readiness of DXB to host the event, then determine how much work would be required to proceed.

One obvious issue is that during the Olympic month of September the temperature doesn’t get much below 30 degrees celsius.

I saw first hand at the Sydney Olympics in 2000 the amount of infrastructure, development and planning that was required to get the nod. My initial thought around the UAE is that we’re not yet ready. However Sheikh Mohammed is always confident on the city’s ability to rise to the occasion:

“if we decide to make a bid for the Olympics, we will be in it to win”

. There are many examples where UAE has proven itself to be able to carry out the near impossible. Most recently the 808m Burj Khalifa should make people wonder.

One thing’s for sure. If Dubai takes the bid on, I’ll be behind it. And another thing is for certain, if Dubai gets the nod, I’ll need to stay here longer than the 5 years I initially proposed. For anyone that’s been to Dubai it will no doubt be a very interesting story to follow.

Who knows, we could be in with a real chance. It seems Hobart, the capital city of Australia’s tiny island state of Tasmania are considering their chances after a radio prank was a little too successful.

http://www.business24-7.ae/sports/other/dubai-evaluates-olympics-bid-2010-04-26-1.236829

Black and Gold Ball – 22 April 2010

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Elle & I, and a few tables of friends attended this year’s Black and Gold Ball held at the Grand Hyatt. It’s an important Dubai institution around ANZAC day for particularly all expats that hail from Australia and New Zealand. Our mob demonstrated the laziness of Australians and Kiwis when I think back to how we came together and bought tickets. All communications were over email, instituted and purchased between a Brit and a Papua New Guinean.

The ball’s title should be obvious to those from the Tasman. No, they don’t supply weird mixed drinks of Guinness and mid-strength XXXX. For anyone stuck, Black relates to the All Blacks the world champion rugby team, and the Gold is one half of Green and Gold – the proud colours of Australia, world champions in most other sports ;-).

Despite the effects of the financial crisis, and people allegedly leaving the region in droves, the ball continues to grow each year. This year saw 600 people in total, up from 450 the year before. All attendees were also quite generous. Around AED 30,000 was raised for charity during the night.

In one short sentence, the night was fantastic. After paying respect to those ‘who shall not grow old’, there was quite a long speech by organiser, Graham McNally. I heard on the grape vine that Graham completed almost the whole organisation of the evening himself – which if true is outstanding. He tried his hand at some humour, and made me chuckle at a few standard Oz and Kiwi jokes I’d heard before. And yes, having AUS and NZ the focal point of a ball, he felt it was necessary to mention “that” delivery. I believe the subject was changed pretty swiftly after to take the piss out of South Africans.

They played one party game our British friends forewarned us about called head and bums. Since playing the game at last year’s ball also, they have been of the belief it was a common Australian pastime. If you’re unaware of the game – which we were – it’s really simple. Everyone stands and chooses whether to put their hands on their head or on their bum. The announcer chooses one of the options, and if you chose correctly you remain standing to play another round. We were quite hopeless. In fact the only person from our entire table who did well was Bob our resident Scotsman. He made it just about to the round where those remaining in the game move to the dance floor to find the eventual winner. But unfortunately he followed the advice of someone from our table, and chose to put his hands on the option which had more hair. I’ll leave it at that. He was very smartly dressed in a tuxedo and kilt, we didn’t want to go any further.

The Aus/NZ inspired menu and specially imported food was tremendous – although two friends claimed to have inconvenient issues after some oysters. Eating high quality lamb from home was one of the highlights of the night.

The night was like all the balls I’ve been to. There was great company all looking very spectacular, great food and drinks, a real reluctance to get onto the dance floor but once there we danced the night away. Lionel Ritchie’s song All Night Long got us singing more than we ordinarily would when it sounded like the lyrics included a local suburb:

We’re going to Party, Karama, Fiesta, forever, Come on and sing along.

Toward the end of the night it was a mystery where the whole night had gone. When the ugly lights came on to encourage us to leave, we could not believe it was after 3am.

Actually this ball had a few significant differences from the balls I attended previously. Those in years gone by were safely held before the onset of social networking, 3 megapixal Blackberries with WiFi connection, and inconspicuously sized digital cameras with HighDef video recording. This ball, and every moment for ever more is open to the gazes of the web’s population. It was interesting to know that photos of our escapades were getting uploaded to Facebook in near real time.

When I woke up the next morning, I didn’t recap on the night by reading Facebook status updates. I watched an edited video megamix of myself making some terrible dance moves. What ever happened to ‘what happens on tour…”

Unfortunately one thing that wasn’t caught on film was one of the highlights toward the end of the night. We heard The Proclaimer’s, 500 Miles and insisted on getting our other Scottish friend up to dance with us – knowing full well how much she hates the song. Good times.

Bizarre Dubai murder case reopened

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In 1998, two local guys shot a Sudanese man dead in reaction to him claiming he was bullet proof. A bullet in the chest and one in the head is a pretty severe means to prove somebody wrong.

As alarming as this was, the case has now been reopened in an attempt to throw out the life sentences issued in 2007.  The convicted got an agreement from the victim’s parents for leniency. They are now seeking a single year of imprisonment (already served I guess).

gulfnews : ‘Bulletproof man’ case is reopened

Incidentally in other news today, not that it would have helped, a bullet proof t-shirt was announced (http://www.news.com.au/technology/boron-treated-wal-mart-t-shirt-can-stop-speeding-bullet-says-scientist/story-e6frfro0-1225852806454).