The Brinktionary

I’ve always enjoyed humour based on satire and wit. While at school I bought Colin Bowles The Wit’s Dictionary, and over time I added other meanings that I found from other books. Below are some of my own warped meanings drafted with tongue-in-cheek, and what my kids came up with.

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Shrinkage – of a good variety

A friend of mine once worked for a large supermarket chain. The job came with a couple of perks. All supermarkets have a “Shrinkage” rack. This is where damaged stock goes, before it’s registered for refund and/or trashed. From time to time, some desirable food items would find themselves on the shrinkage rack, almost coincidentally. […]

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Sorry again Queensland

The week before last, was the first game of this year’s (Australian) State of Origin rugby league series. For rugby league fans, this is one of the major events in the calendar. Sadly, my state of Queensland (the good guys) lost in a close encounter. That gives their opposition New South Wales Blues the upper […]

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Half companion, half trouble-maker

(An imagined real story 🙂 Norm was a typical Australian bloke, with a typical Australian dog. The dog was called Rusty.  He was half companion, half trouble-maker. It proved difficult to keep such an active, free-spirited dog under control. He would always fall into mischief.  And some mischief was clearly worse than others. In fact, […]

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[Joke] Mobile Commuting

After a busy day John settled down in his train from Waterloo for a nap as far as his destination at Winchester, when the chap sitting near him hauled out his mobile and started up:- “Hi darling it’s Peter, I’m on the train – yes, I know it’s the 6.30 and I’m late but I […]

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[Joke] London 2012

It’s 2012 and it’s the Olympics in London .. A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they haven’t got tickets. The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate. ” McTavish , Scotland ” he says, “Discus” and in he walks. The […]

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50 things u didn’t know about whales

Myles has an end of school assembly this Thursday. At the assembly he’s part of a performance about whales. There’s a lovely song he’s been practicing called Baby Beluga. And he’s been rehearsing a fact that he must recite in front of everyone: 1F (his class) has been learning about whales. Did you know that […]

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Wiggley IT training

I recently received an invitation to enrol in some IT training in the region. It was nice to see even a certain globally recognized IT Management professional is a fan of The Wiggles song, “Hot Potato”.

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Tired of being tired

I was putting clothes away in Lewis’s room this morning when he woke up. Unlike him, he woke up quite cranky.  When I cuddled him I asked, do you want to go to the toilet – he responded “No, I’m tired”.  I asked if he wanted to go downstairs and have some (rice) bubbles “No, […]

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Specificity

I was clearly under the wrong impression that the latest Microsoft releases supplied more useful error messages.

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