The Brinktionary

I’ve always enjoyed humour based on satire and wit. While at school I bought Colin Bowles The Wit’s Dictionary, and over time I added other meanings that I found from other books.

Below are some of my own warped meanings drafted with tongue-in-cheek, and what my kids came up with.

TermDefinitionSource
AvocadoGreen thing, like a pear, just more disgusting.#kidlulz
6:21 AM - 26 Jan 2016
Bi-weekly
(adj/adv/noun) A frequency which has Two vastly different meanings.Own
5:55 PM - 23 Feb 2017
Birth(noun) The event when children find a way out of their mother's belly.#kidlulz
2:52 AM - 8 Sep 2017
Brash(adjective) The collective noun of faeces that you fling in anger.Own
5:18 PM - 9 Apr 2017
Coco popsRice bubbles that are brown like a bear.#kidlulz
7:37 AM - 30 Sep 2016
Famousa mostly sold-out adjective, which means either hopeful or desperate. Own
6:58 AM - 17 Feb 2013
Croissanta bread thing, shaped funny that's missing the egg & bacon.Oxford - not really
8:18 AM - 24 Jun 2014
Door-bell
(noun) an intrusive device aimed at distracting you from enjoying life.Own
11:54 AM - 25 Mar 2013
Exercuse
(noun) flimsy reason given to avoid a workout.Own
11:08 AM - 7 Jan 2016
Fertilizera fancy word for putrid stench.Own
10:34 AM - 2 Nov 2016
Geeseelegant ducks with a long neck.#kidlulz
2:58 AM - 27 Aug 2017
Hospitalthat ambulance house thing#kidlulz
3:48 PM - 8 Sep 2017
Humbled(adj) to be proudly embarrassed.Own
10:12 AM - 15 May 2012
Insectssomething with wings that's annoying.#kidlulz
10:42 AM - 19 Mar 2016
Irrationalise(verb) To justify actions based upon illogical reasons.Own
9:09 PM - 27 May 2017
Jiggerbyte(n) the digital storage required for a video of lively springy dance in triple rhythm.Own
3:14 PM - 19 Jun 2012
Kiwi Fruit(noun) fruit of a hairy variety#kidlulz
10:46 AM - 1 Dec 2012
Lavatoread(verb) to take a book with you into the bathroom.Own
11:21 AM - 17 Aug 2012
Ludicrous
(adj.) Ridiculous plus 7% Own
4:14 PM - 22 Oct 2014
Mobile phone(n) a device that rings to inform some employees where they were meant to be ten minutes agoOwn
10:33 AM - 20 May 2012
Mysteriousa sexy word for incomprehensible.Own
10:12 AM - 14 Mar 2013
Nostrilsthe holes where your boogers are.#kidlulz
5:15 PM - 28 Jul 2014
Oblivious(adj.) A dumber version of being unaware.Own
10:21 AM - 29 Sep 2014
Organicincreasingly another term for "Yuppy".Own
2:33 PM - 17 Feb 2015
Pareto Passing20% of colleagues feel 80% of their duties should be performed by someone else.Own
5:47 AM - 9 Jul 2012
Pide (Turkish pastry)Turkish for tasty pizza boat. Own
1:40 PM - 1 Jul 2017
Result
(noun) the enlightenment from receiving the same insult a second time. Own
2:15 PM - 17 Dec 2013
Shopping list(noun) A smarmy device to demonstrate how far off track you can get. Own
1:52 PM - 20 Feb 2016
Sludgethe past tense of a slug crossing a footpath.Own
9:04 AM - 20 April 2012
Speed Bump(noun) a small rise in the road, which increases safety by cars driving around them slowly.Own
2:47 PM - 4 Mar 2017
SudokuMigraine caused by numbers (origin Japan).Own
4:07 AM - 31 Aug 2017
Valet
(noun) a French gang who ransom car parks for exorbitant sums of money. Own
1:51 PM - 5 Oct 2014
Waggle(verb) a wiggling wagging motion made by the tails of excessively happy animals.Own
6:10 PM - 30 May 2012